I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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