I'm so fucking centered right now
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
