question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
