don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
