and i looked up. we had an audience...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
