Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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