16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
