Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
