the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
