haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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