After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
