You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
