Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
