Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
