It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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