i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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