why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
