No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
