you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He better not be in your backpack
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
