What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
