Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize