i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
