No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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