So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize