Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
