We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
