I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
