so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
