pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
