thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If i come over, it means nothing
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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