Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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