god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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