Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize