i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
