Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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