he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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