I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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