It's Friday. Sex?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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