i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
