You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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