i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Randomize
