whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
