He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize