My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize