Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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