seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
