i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
