quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
