I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
