So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
