my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize