Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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