YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
