It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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