just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize