I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
