If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
