Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
