True but thats because hes a fetus.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
