No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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