I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
