glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize