we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
tonight lets celebrate not being married
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
