Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
