??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
