tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
